The Electronic Lover

an audio opera by Lisa Mezzacappa & Beth Lisick

Episode 6: Cyberwedding

Narrator: You’re listening to episode 6 of The Electronic Lover. This is a serial podcast, so catch up on the previous episodes before listening to this one. 

In the last episode Talkin’ Lady surprised everyone with the news that she is getting married to Officer Alex Westmoreland, the detective she met on her ride-along with the police department. And everyone is invited to their virtual wedding, the first of its kind.

Voice: Is this the place?

Voice: Don’t want to be late

Joan: Welcome, welcome everyone!

Please have a drink and mingle

While I go get changed

Alex: You look stunning already, darling!

Joan: And you all know 

I’m a sucker for a man in uniform

Theresa: A glass of champagne

All those tiny bubbles

Voice: Who brought the balloons?

Lavender sparkle!

Frankie: Friends! Everyone!

Please meet my guest

My teenage daughter 

This is her first time in a chatroom

She chose the handle…. 

Charlene: Charlene!

After Willis’ girlfriend

On Diff’rent Strokes

Played by the one and only 

Janet Jackson

Voices: Hi Charlene! Welcome, Charlene! Greetings! Hello!

Voice: Welcome to the wide world 

Of the wild wild west

And what a tangled web we weave

Charlene: I like it already!

Margot: Hey, Stacks

Nice to see you here

Susan: What can I say?

I’m a fool for love

And those lilies of the valley 

Are to die for

Garrison: Do I have time to take

A walk out to the gazebo?

Narrator: A gazebo. Nice.

Theresa: Clink clink clink!

May I have everyone’s attention

A gift for the bride and groom:

Tab tab space space space question mark M M M M M 7 return

Tab tab space space N question mark comma O M D I N return

Tab tab space space M period tab M M I I tab I M dollar sign 8 M hyphen D return

Tab tab space space M comma M M tab tab M N period comma comma N M space plus return

Tab tab space space hyphen M space space period Z M M M plus period M

Narrator: Whoa. In an impressive act of innovation, T-Rex has rendered a picture of wedding bells using only the keys on her keyboard!

Susan: T-rex, That is amazing!

Margot: How did you figure that out?

Charlene: Look, I’ll draw a heart!

Tab tab space space space percent percent percent tab tab percent percent percent return

Tab tab space space percent percent percent tab tab percent percent percent return

Tab tab space space exclamation point exclamation point tab exclamation point exclamation point return

Tab tab space space exclamation point exclamation point tab exclamation point exclamation point return

Narrator: It looked pretty cool

Garrison: It’s a new art form: ASCII art

Alex: What the heck is ASCII?

And don’t flame me

I’m just a cop

Who doesn’t know about this computer stuff

All Voices: ASCII: American Standard Code for Information Interchange 

Theresa: Alex – Do you have your own PC?

Frankie: Alex – Are you there with Talkin’ Lady?

Susan: Alex – Where are you typing from now?

Joan: It’s time for me to walk down the aisle!

Frankie: Ooh, here comes the bride!

Margot: Do we know who is performing the ceremony?

Frankie: It’s AngelWings, the moderator of the spirituality forum

Alex: Here I go, lifting up your veil

Joan: But I’m not wearing a veil!

Alex: What about a garter?

Joan: Wait for the honeymoon!

AngelWings: Salutations, honored guests

I call to the four directions

From North and South and East and West

To bless the hearts and minds and bodies

Of Talkin’ Lady and SaltySherlock

As they vow to love and honor trust and cherish 

Each other and never ever

Hog the telephone line

As long as they both shall live

Garrison: Bonded forever

In matrimonial protocol

Sharing a modem

Till death do they part

AngelWings: On this historic occasion

Before their beloved community

I now pronounce you


You may kiss 

Alex: Kiss kiss

Joan: Kiss kiss kiss

Alex: May I have this dance?

Frankie: Oh wait!

My daughter Marianne

Charlene: Charlene!

Frankie: Yes, Charlene!

Has written a song

For the first dance

She sings in a girls choir

My musical child!

Charlene: I wrote it in the key of C

But I guess you can imagine it

However you want

Love may seem hard to find

When you’re looking for it all the time

But when you close your eyes

For a minute

It can come to you by surprise

Two hearts joined together

Two hearts in unison

Shared for the world to see

No matter where you live 

You’re invited on your screen

A witness from your home PC

Love can grow each day

In what you do and what you say

So remember when you’re alone 

Reaching out to those near or far

You never know what you will find

Out here in cyberspace 

Or in the back of a cop car

Joan: What a delight!

Margot: Let’s dance!

Narrator:  Buck goes private to GoGo

Chorus: Forward slash!

Garrison: GoGo, shall we?

Margot: Of course Buck!

Garrison: You must be so proud

Just look at this vibrant

Community you’ve nurtured

With such care

Margot: Garrison,

You’re the one

Who created

This space

Of possibility

Garrison: We make a pretty

Formidable team, Margot

Margot: I think so too!

Ooh look, they’re about to cut the cake!

Charlene: Mother, may I have a glass of champagne, pretty please?

Frankie: I guess it won’t hurt

Voice: And would you like

To take a spin

On the dance floor, young lady?

Charlene: What do you say, Mom?

Frankie: Why don’t you have

Some cake first, dear

Voice: (Parenthesis slinking away parenthesis)

Charlene: Wow, what a totally awesome cake!

Theresa: Why thank you!

I made it!

Susan: T-Rex, allow me:

It’s three layers

Strawberry gateau

With vanilla bean icing

Mandarin sponge 

With chocolate ganache

And on top

Pistachio meringue

With white chocolate buttercream

Alex: This has been

A most wonderful day

Talkin’ Lady knew

You all would welcome me

With open arms

Joan: Wait and see, everyone

The cyberwedding

Will become

A common 


We are all trailblazers!

Garrison: And one day we may all have

Cameras on our screens

Theresa: We will travel

The world 

Without leaving home

Frankie: The universe will come to us!

Susan: We will have access to knowledge and ancient wisdom

Theresa: To pursue freedom, and justice and equality

Garrison: Think of the economic prosperity

Margot: And more compassion towards people different from ourselves

Frankie: More love

Theresa: Better friendships

Alex: Less isolation

Susan: Deeper connections

Garrison: More kindness

Charlene: And we will be able

To teleport!


The future

Is here

And it is full 

It is chock full

It is brimming

And it is full of


Narrator: Promises, promises


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