Episode 6: Cyberwedding
Narrator: You’re listening to episode 6 of The Electronic Lover. This is a serial podcast, so catch up on the previous episodes before listening to this one.
In the last episode Talkin’ Lady surprised everyone with the news that she is getting married to Officer Alex Westmoreland, the detective she met on her ride-along with the police department. And everyone is invited to their virtual wedding, the first of its kind.
Voice: Is this the place?
Voice: Don’t want to be late
Joan: Welcome, welcome everyone!
Please have a drink and mingle
While I go get changed
Alex: You look stunning already, darling!
Joan: And you all know
I’m a sucker for a man in uniform
Theresa: A glass of champagne
All those tiny bubbles
Voice: Who brought the balloons?
Lavender sparkle!
Frankie: Friends! Everyone!
Please meet my guest
My teenage daughter
This is her first time in a chatroom
She chose the handle….
Charlene: Charlene!
After Willis’ girlfriend
On Diff’rent Strokes
Played by the one and only
Janet Jackson
Voices: Hi Charlene! Welcome, Charlene! Greetings! Hello!
Voice: Welcome to the wide world
Of the wild wild west
And what a tangled web we weave
Charlene: I like it already!
Margot: Hey, Stacks
Nice to see you here
Susan: What can I say?
I’m a fool for love
And those lilies of the valley
Are to die for
Garrison: Do I have time to take
A walk out to the gazebo?
Narrator: A gazebo. Nice.
Theresa: Clink clink clink!
May I have everyone’s attention
A gift for the bride and groom:
Tab tab space space space question mark M M M M M 7 return
Tab tab space space N question mark comma O M D I N return
Tab tab space space M period tab M M I I tab I M dollar sign 8 M hyphen D return
Tab tab space space M comma M M tab tab M N period comma comma N M space plus return
Tab tab space space hyphen M space space period Z M M M plus period M
Narrator: Whoa. In an impressive act of innovation, T-Rex has rendered a picture of wedding bells using only the keys on her keyboard!
Susan: T-rex, That is amazing!
Margot: How did you figure that out?
Charlene: Look, I’ll draw a heart!
Tab tab space space space percent percent percent tab tab percent percent percent return
Tab tab space space percent percent percent tab tab percent percent percent return
Tab tab space space exclamation point exclamation point tab exclamation point exclamation point return
Tab tab space space exclamation point exclamation point tab exclamation point exclamation point return
Narrator: It looked pretty cool
Garrison: It’s a new art form: ASCII art
Alex: What the heck is ASCII?
And don’t flame me
I’m just a cop
Who doesn’t know about this computer stuff
All Voices: ASCII: American Standard Code for Information Interchange
Theresa: Alex – Do you have your own PC?
Frankie: Alex – Are you there with Talkin’ Lady?
Susan: Alex – Where are you typing from now?
Joan: It’s time for me to walk down the aisle!
Frankie: Ooh, here comes the bride!
Margot: Do we know who is performing the ceremony?
Frankie: It’s AngelWings, the moderator of the spirituality forum
Alex: Here I go, lifting up your veil
Joan: But I’m not wearing a veil!
Alex: What about a garter?
Joan: Wait for the honeymoon!
AngelWings: Salutations, honored guests
I call to the four directions
From North and South and East and West
To bless the hearts and minds and bodies
Of Talkin’ Lady and SaltySherlock
As they vow to love and honor trust and cherish
Each other and never ever
Hog the telephone line
As long as they both shall live
Garrison: Bonded forever
In matrimonial protocol
Sharing a modem
Till death do they part
AngelWings: On this historic occasion
Before their beloved community
I now pronounce you
Married
You may kiss
Alex: Kiss kiss
Joan: Kiss kiss kiss
Alex: May I have this dance?
Frankie: Oh wait!
My daughter Marianne
Charlene: Charlene!
Frankie: Yes, Charlene!
Has written a song
For the first dance
She sings in a girls choir
My musical child!
Charlene: I wrote it in the key of C
But I guess you can imagine it
However you want
Love may seem hard to find
When you’re looking for it all the time
But when you close your eyes
For a minute
It can come to you by surprise
Two hearts joined together
Two hearts in unison
Shared for the world to see
No matter where you live
You’re invited on your screen
A witness from your home PC
Love can grow each day
In what you do and what you say
So remember when you’re alone
Reaching out to those near or far
You never know what you will find
Out here in cyberspace
Or in the back of a cop car
Joan: What a delight!
Margot: Let’s dance!
Narrator: Buck goes private to GoGo
Chorus: Forward slash!
Garrison: GoGo, shall we?
Margot: Of course Buck!
Garrison: You must be so proud
Just look at this vibrant
Community you’ve nurtured
With such care
Margot: Garrison,
You’re the one
Who created
This space
Of possibility
Garrison: We make a pretty
Formidable team, Margot
Margot: I think so too!
Ooh look, they’re about to cut the cake!
Charlene: Mother, may I have a glass of champagne, pretty please?
Frankie: I guess it won’t hurt
Voice: And would you like
To take a spin
On the dance floor, young lady?
Charlene: What do you say, Mom?
Frankie: Why don’t you have
Some cake first, dear
Voice: (Parenthesis slinking away parenthesis)
Charlene: Wow, what a totally awesome cake!
Theresa: Why thank you!
I made it!
Susan: T-Rex, allow me:
It’s three layers
Strawberry gateau
With vanilla bean icing
Mandarin sponge
With chocolate ganache
And on top
Pistachio meringue
With white chocolate buttercream
Alex: This has been
A most wonderful day
Talkin’ Lady knew
You all would welcome me
With open arms
Joan: Wait and see, everyone
The cyberwedding
Will become
A common
Occurrence
We are all trailblazers!
Garrison: And one day we may all have
Cameras on our screens
Theresa: We will travel
The world
Without leaving home
Frankie: The universe will come to us!
Susan: We will have access to knowledge and ancient wisdom
Theresa: To pursue freedom, and justice and equality
Garrison: Think of the economic prosperity
Margot: And more compassion towards people different from ourselves
Frankie: More love
Theresa: Better friendships
Alex: Less isolation
Susan: Deeper connections
Garrison: More kindness
Charlene: And we will be able
To teleport!
Voices:
The future
Is here
And it is full
It is chock full
It is brimming
And it is full of
Promise!
Narrator: Promises, promises
*****
The Electronic Lover 